Dear Diary

The emotion sits perched up on that branch of loneliness. Why..?
When everything is there. why do i still feel so alone..

Who created this emotion.. why was it created.. when will it's duty cease..
I feel so lost on this winding road.. i feel so trapped.. i feel so alone..
I need to see a light.. i need to draw a line.. i need to feel a hand.. i need to touch a life..
The essence of contentment is joy..
When do i start searching for this joy if the loneliness keeps following my vessel of life..

I know i have a purpose.. i know there is an end..
It's the step in between fulfillment and hardship that keeps me lagging behind..

There is so much we don't know, there is so much we haven't seen, there is so much we still need to feel..
If this emotion leeches itself so strongly..how will i find my way out..

Is there but a soul out there who can relate..

Dear Diary

Where do I fit in…?

The chilliness of this wind outside is making me shiver with contempt, I’m so overwhelmed by all that’s going on inside of me, it’s hard to be at ease.

What’s the next step…?

What’s the next chapter going to sink me into…?

I wish sometimes I was an angel. The one that let allowance into this untruthful mind and warn me before I got too deep. I know that the time we have is supposed to be this way, the way which tumbles and turns and we just have to go through with it. I know and I understand that life is placed before us in this way; it’s the understanding of each consequence that I cannot even begin to fathom.

Can anyone answer their mind truthfully and with purpose?

Can anyone see the doubt and ignore its nagging voice?

Can anyone feel the existence of love even though its volume doesn’t exist?

Dear Diary

My tears are deep within these crevices of pain,

My tears are cold and damp with uncertainty,

My tears hold no judgement in this sorry state of emotion,

They're just tears...

....falling in the silence of my many wounds...

How can i walk back to the days of my youth,

When i was just a carefree child, playing without fear

gazing up at the clouds as i lay down on the lush green grass,

Counting the stars in the magnitude of it's capacity,

Living in awe of this huge world around me...

....if only there was a way..

I would give up all my present life just to be earthen in this wish,

Even if it was just for a moment...

The sun rose with all it's greatness, commanded by it's creator,

It spread onto this earth a deep yellow color, such beauty.

The birds sang merrily, and now..rested are their gifted voices,

they have made sound into love.

The love which we can only but dream to echo.

How kind is the ocean tonight, peaceful are it's many waves.

The openness of this huge sea cradling the reflection of a beautiful 

full moon upon it's sparkling surface.

How magnificent, splendid is a sight, beauty but a thought...

I awake to the sound of my little baby, calling out for a mother's embrace,

a sweet kiss of joy.. She's beautiful, as perfect as iv'e always pictured and

what a feeling...she's all mine...

The pain all sinks back into it's hollow crevices now, the tears have all dried up.

I'm at rest and beginning to smile...

Yesterday, today and tomorrow are always going to have the incapabilities of endless

battles of pain, but my life has to go on...

She came to me during the most difficult phases of my life,

I love her.

She is beautiful, she is perfect, she is all mine..