Dear Diary

Where do I fit in…?

The chilliness of this wind outside is making me shiver with contempt, I’m so overwhelmed by all that’s going on inside of me, it’s hard to be at ease.

What’s the next step…?

What’s the next chapter going to sink me into…?

I wish sometimes I was an angel. The one that let allowance into this untruthful mind and warn me before I got too deep. I know that the time we have is supposed to be this way, the way which tumbles and turns and we just have to go through with it. I know and I understand that life is placed before us in this way; it’s the understanding of each consequence that I cannot even begin to fathom.

Can anyone answer their mind truthfully and with purpose?

Can anyone see the doubt and ignore its nagging voice?

Can anyone feel the existence of love even though its volume doesn’t exist?

 

from the moment of conception..

the feelings within..

a world of dreams awaits..

little do i know what it all means..

i wait in sweet awe..

my tiny half lifeless hands stamp my approval of your worth,

inside this womb of my beloved..

i am warm..

i am loved..

i am touched..

you sing for me..

 lulled and talked to..

i can understand by the tone of your comfort..

i know that you want me..

i know that you love me..

months before you even begin to feel my gentle movements..

you show your interest..

aroused by the deep massage of your love..

i feel your acceptance of my presence..

i am almost ready to enter your world now..

i know you're happy..

your weight from me is unbearable yet you never once complain..

my Creator has given you such patience..

this pregnancy is so enduring..

yet you carry me smiling..

today is my day..

instinct overwhelms me..

i urge your body for escapism and find my way..

Mum i am finally here..

i don't know how to thank you..

 years have passed and you still call me your princess..

i can never understand your emotion but i feel your joy..

never once did you show me neglect..

your tiredness i never learnt..

sacrifice was all i saw in you..

love was never spared in my favor..

from birth to now..

all i have ever been and all that i will ever be..

can only be through the blessing of your kindness to me..

Mummy, you are my everything..

Love always..